Peter MacKay promises never to use tragedies to prevent further tragedies

OTTAWA – Conservative Party leadership hopeful and native Nova Scotian Peter MacKay announced in a video on his Twitter feed today his disgust with the Trudeau government’s proposed ban on …

Report: Jessica acting like a real domestic slut ever since she got a Le Creuset Dutch Oven

RICHMOND HILL, ON – Upon acquiring a $500 Le Creuset brand dutch oven, sources are reporting that Jessica Sanghvi has been acting like a notoriously domesticated slut by spending the majori…

Canadian man furious that Liberals infringing on his second amendment rights

Grande Prairie, AB – In the wake of Justin Trudeau announcing that his government will ban most assault style weapons, local man Hank Cook is demanding to know why the government thinks it …

Alberta insists oil workers essential, essential-oil workers not essential

EDMONTON – The government of Alberta reiterated today that the province considers workers in the oil industry to be essential while workers in the essential-oil industry are considered non-…

No one in Zoom Parliament going to tell Andrew Scheer that he is on mute

OTTAWA – As Canadian MPs participated in the second ever zoom parliament, all of them had silently agreed not to tell Leader of the Opposition Andrew Scheer that he has left his mute on and…

Great news! Upstairs neighbor finally has time to work on their vocal exercises

While we’re all overwhelmed by the dreary news of a global pandemic, upstairs Vancouver neighbour Elizabeth Caza is turning Covid into “Goal-Vid!” by practicing her vocal exercises for hours! Eli…

“Humans are the real problem,” posts man who is the real problem

WINDSOR – Bartender Steve Atkins posted a picture of swans swimming in the Venice canals on Facebook yesterday with the caption, “The animals of the world are returning. Humans are the real…

“I think…sorry…I think that…what? No you go ahead,” says man during zoom meeting

Timmins, ON – Local man Frank Butler is finding it difficult to jump in during his work’s weekly zoom check in meeting, prompting him to repeatedly start talking and then stop when he…

Local couple announces the birth of a new puzzle, another on the way

SARNIA, ON – Local couple Carla and Joseph Hangar took to social media this week to welcome a new addition to their family – a completed puzzle of a pastoral landscape – and added tha…

Delusional sports bar owner believes customers will order from his takeout menu

CALGARY – Completely misreading his clientele, the owner of Nutter’s Sports Bar and Grill believes there will be high demand for the unremarkable items on his takeout menu. Brad Furst’s 17th Aven…