“69” Laughed at

KINGSTON, ON – Yesterday, a student attending a Sociology lecture laughed out loud when the professor said the number “69.” Professor Deborah Marshal, 56, had been discussing material from …

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Botched handshake embarrasses local man

HAMILTON, ON – Local resident Mark Sanford, 24, ruined his chances of making friends with two cool dudes yesterday when an introductory handshake went horribly wrong. Sanford’s friend…

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Business man in talks of merger with woman

TORONTO – Private equity firm employee Praj Patel, 31, is in merger talks with airline stewardess Aneesha Sherawat, 27, a woman. If successful, the deal could lead to a 60% increase in coha…

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Maschismo exhibited by eating hot sauce

EAST YORK, ON – Local student Jeff Saunders impressed friends at an East-End Mr. Sub by asking for hot sauce on his sandwich, sources reported yesterday. “He was like, ‘No man, throw some h…

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