EDMONTON – After 17 members of Jason Kenney’s government signed a letter opposing his latest lockdown, Albertans were relieved to discover that the number of MLAs who would explicitly sacrifice them t...
AITA man asks website full of assholes
BURNABY, BC – An alleged asshole has taken to a website full of assholes to determine once and for all if he is, in fact, an asshole. “Hey Reddit. Now that I work exclusively from home, I consid...
Towel still disturbingly moist
News in Photos....
“Why did Meghan murder Prince Philip?” ask British tabloids
LONDON – In the wake of The Duke of Edinburgh’s untimely death at the far too young age of 99, British tabloids are wondering how and why his granddaughter-in-law Meghan Markle murdered him. “Ho...
Queen’s cousin dies
WINDSOR, UK – Representatives of the British Monarchy have confirmed the sad news that the long-ailing cousin of the Queen, Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, has died. Prince Philip’s familial relatio...
Manitoba premier tells teachers to share province’s last remaining piece of chalk
WINNIPEG – Manitoba premier Brian Pallister has encouraged teachers to share the province’s last remaining piece of chalk in all of the province’s public schools. Pallister announced the new cha...
Netflix adds ‘movies set in New York but it’s obviously Toronto’ category
TORONTO – Netflix is adding a new category of films viewers can scroll through before just choosing to re-watch The Crown: movies set in New York that are obviously Toronto. “We’re a...
I got every covid vaccine. Here’s how they all taste.
The government has approved several COVID vaccines for widespread use, and lots of us are debating which one we should get. Worry no longer, because I did the dirty work for you: I got my hands on eve...
Inspiring! Clubhouse community comes together to make sure you don’t get an invite
SAN FRANCISCO – In a heartwarming display of solidarity, the entire community of the audio-only social media platform Clubhouse have banded together to make sure that you, specifically, never ge...
Jason Kenney insists dinosaurs belong in government, not the classroom
EDMONTON – Premier Jason Kenney is changing the public school curriculum in Alberta to better reflect the UCP’s position that lumbering prehistoric creatures should not be the focus of ele...
