QUEEN’S PARK – Premier Doug Ford made the bold pronouncement this afternoon that the closure of Ontario schools will continue for the remainder of June and – shockingly – extend into July and August. ...
Best shape of man’s life still pretty mediocre
REGINA – After six months following a carefully crafted diet plan, daily sessions of cardio, and periodic weight training, Regina resident Issac Gavin has become a moderately in shape man. Despi...
Dominatrix offers her Subs new punishment that replicates pain, humiliation of being a Leafs fan
TORONTO – Mistress Saphira, a local Dom who specializes in unique tortures for her clients to endure, has developed a new punishment for Subs eager to feel the pain & humiliation Leafs fans ...
Pope Francis prays for someone to take responsibility for Catholic residential schools
THE HOLY SEE – The leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Francis I, made a special prayer to victims of Canada’s residential schools during his monthly intentions. “We are asking the Almighty that...
Citytv orders Rex & Rex, both cops, both dogs
TORONTO – After the success of buddy-cop-dog drama Hudson & Rex, Citytv has reportedly greenlit the spin-off Rex & Rex, both cops, both dogs. “We’re thrilled!” began Mark Scotts, the Gem...
Man too embarrassed to finally ask what COVID is
SASKATOON – 33-year-old Jackson Shepherd still doesn’t know what COVID is and is now way too embarrassed to ask about it. “When I got back from a camping trip last year everyone was talking about it, ...
Leafs forfeit Game 7 to save everyone the trouble
TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs have announced they will not play Game 7 against the Montreal Canadiens to save everyone the trouble. “I think we all know how this will end,” said Leafs Coach ...
Ontarians thrilled case numbers down to level that would have terrified them in September
ONTARIO – With daily new cases of Covid-19 now consistently falling below 1200, Ontario citizens are celebrating despite the fact that these numbers would have had them peeing their pants back i...
