QUEEN’S PARK – As Ontario hospitals find themselves ill-equipped and under-staffed to treat skyrocketing COVID numbers, Premier Doug Ford announced a new line of self-serve hospital beds to…
Beijing confirms they won’t cancel Winter Olympics since they already rented extra chairs
BEIJING – Officials from Beijing and the International Olympic Committee (IOC) confirmed this week that the 2022 Winter Olympics won’t be cancelled amidst rising COVID cases, as they have a…
Hero BlackBerry killed in action had one day left ‘til retirement
CALGARY – Local landscaper Peter Rugger announced today that his trusty BlackBerry device was killed in the line of duty after nearly twenty years of service and, tragically, with only one …
38-year-old father of two excited for Christmas scratch n’ win card from his mommy
BEDFORD, NS – Local engineer and father of two Douglas Clyborne has spent the last week telling everyone how excited he is to open his stocking on Christmas morning and receive his yearly s…
Local woman not soccer mom, just mean
ETOBICOKE, ON – Neighbours and co-workers were shocked this week to learn that 36-year-old Rhonda Bartlie is not actually a dedicated soccer mom – she just drives a minivan and is rud…
Military official charged with sexual assault – no not the same one as yesterday, a new one
OTTAWA – The Canadian Armed Forces’ former head of human resources, Vice-Admiral Hayden Edmundson, has been charged with sexual assault this week in news you’re sure you heard already even …
Woman starts new life in woods after spelling “recommend” wrong 3 times in a row
MONCTON – Michelle Javernick, nurse and mother of two, walked straight into the lush New Brunswick wilderness this week to restart her life after unsuccessfully attempting to spell “recomme…
Tragic! This co-worker did not hesitate to reach out
EDMONTON – Local account manager Anna Stolly received a nasty shock at work this week when her co-worker Joe Dolivo did not hesitate to reach out to her with questions about a team project.…
Ontario case numbers going up even though Ford asked them nicely not to
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is facing blame for the recent rise in COVID-19 case numbers, despite his valiant effort telling the new cases to “tone it down a bit, if you don’t mind.…
Ontario minimum wage workers excited to live off 8 more dime candies a day
TORONTO – In the month since Ontario’s minimum wage went from $14.25 up to $14.35, the province’s workers are celebrating their earnings by adding an additional eight dime candies to …