TORONTO – In light of news that the World Health Organization would be renaming key variants of COVID-19, Scotiabank has announced plans to bid on the naming rights of all future coronavirus str...
Wow! This cat detected his owner’s undiagnosed cancer and isn’t going to do anything about it
Me-Wow! When four-year-old cat Miles noticed his owner’s pallid skin and increasingly sluggish behaviour, he immediately clocked the Stage I carcinoma slowly growing in owner Sophia Reinhart’s l...
Federal election downgraded to Twitter poll with Trudeau asking, “Do you like me?”
OTTAWA – Recently, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau asked for a dissolution of parliament. With many condemning him due to its unencessity, Trudeau took to his Twitter, instead, to run a poll that ...
Trudeau asks Governor General to declare election takesies backsies
OTTAWA – As the Conservative Party surges in the polls, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has asked Governor General Mary Simon to revoke the election writ that dropped two weeks ago, invoking the l...
O’Toole: There is no ‘I’ in Conservatve Party
OTAWA — Conservative Leader Erin O’ Toole was put on the defensive this week after CPC campaign materials containing numerous spelling errors found their way to the public. Repeatedly denying any erro...
Hibernation of unpopular conservative premiers signals federal election season
TORONTO – Writs dropping from Parliament has signalled the beginning of the hibernation period for odious, conservative provincial leaders who will nestle in their cabinet offices or homes. “Fo...
Ah, shit, wedding invite has lightsabers on it
EDMONTON – People invited to the Katie Carmichael-Chris Everett wedding were horrified to discover that the invitations featured lightsabers and X-Wings. “Jesus Christ, it says ‘Come celebrate a scruf...
Biden just going to let Covid have Florida
JACKSONVILLE, FL – After months of Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s ineffective pandemic response, President Biden today announced he is removing his hat in sorrow as he allows Covid-19 to have t...
Liberals promise to make housing affordable for everyday Canadian millionaires
OTTAWA – The Liberal Party have announced their intent to ban foreign home-ownership for two years, ensuring that Canada’s housing stock will be reserved for everyday Canadians with seven figure...
Inspirational Quote a day Calendar way too bossy
LETHBRIDGE, AB – The Inspirational Quote-A-Day calendar adorning the desk of Sharon Wilson is way too bossy. What started out as a fun way to start the day is now a demanding drill sergeant tryi...
