VICTORIA – B.C. Premier John Horgan and Provincial Health Officer Doctor Bonnie Henry admitted this week that what they believed to be a foolproof plan of assuming the pandemic was over on July ...
Conservatives take quick break on “stop living in fear” platform for “COVID is very scary we shouldn’t have an election” platform
OTTAWA – Canadian right-wingers have announced a brief break from the usual “we cannot live in fear” rhetoric for their new slogan “COVID is very scary and so an election is super dangerous.” “W...
Woman relaxes after stressful job with hobby that she will eventually turn into another stressful job
EDMONTON – After returning home from a 10-hour day at her stressful, thankless job, local woman Jennifer Bodaruk reports that she is looking forward to unwinding with a relaxing hobby that she w...
Anti-vaxxer demands you produce a single study showing mRNA vaccines are safe – no not that one
TORONTO – Clayton Bach, a local man who believes that the Pfizer and Moderna COVID vaccines are incredibly dangerous has demanded you produce a single study showing they are safe, but not that o...
5 events that are finally back post-pandemic and never mind they’re already cancelled
We’ve been at this pandemic thing for over a year and wow, has a lot of stuff been cancelled! But now you’re fully vaccinated (or not!), your mask game is next level (or it isn’t!), and case numbers a...
Wait, is the floor lava? A volcanologist weighs in
TORONTO – With the success of the Netflix show Floor is Lava and the children’s song ‘The Floor is Lava’ by the Kiboomers, the question of whether the floor is lava or not has never ...
Liberals: “A vote for the NDP is a vote for Harper…I mean Scheer…I mean O’Toole”
OTTAWA – As the federal election campaign enters week two, the Liberals are once again reminding Canadians that voting for the NDP will only help the scary Conservative Party leader, whoever he ...
O’Toole confirms his position on abortion has not changed since he’s taken all positions
TORONTO – Conservative Party Leader Erin O’Toole has pushed back against claims that he he keeps changing his position on abortion by claiming that his position is “all of them.” “Unrestricted a...
Hot! This newspaper found the handsomest photo of a sex criminal to use in every article about him
OTTAWA – A national Canadian newspaper came under fire for several articles about an ongoing sex abuse case, after every article featured an extremely attractive photo of the accused sex crimina...
Brisbane announced as next city to be blighted with unholy curse of the Olympics
BRISBANE – Announced for the year 2032, Brisbane, Australia has been selected to become the next unfortunate city to be blighted with the unholy curse that is hosting the Olympic Games. Despite ...
