Hibernation of unpopular conservative premiers signals federal election season - The Beaverton
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Hibernation of unpopular conservative premiers signals federal election season

TORONTO – Writs dropping from Parliament has signalled the beginning of the hibernation period for odious, conservative provincial leaders who will nestle in their cabinet offices or homes. 

“For six weeks or more, these creatures remain dormant and are never spotted in the vast public space,” said biologist Dr. Owen Danby who has been tracking the whereabouts of two populist premiers. “They need to conserve whatever little popularity they have left and not ruin their party’s chance for survival.” 

Taking their cues to settle in and shut up, the premiers can support a litter of up to 25 cabinet ministers during this time. While their loud opinions are gagged, the large bipeds are protected from an unforgivable political climate.

“Shhhh! He’s not making any comments until after September 20th,” said one staffer to members of the media while Premier slept soundly at Queen’s Park.

An industrious ensured he had an ample supply of environmentally-themed Disney movies to critique before tunnelling into his Canadian Energy Centre bunker.

At press time, Premier Brian Pallister was preening his feathers in preparation for a long migration back to his Costa Rican habitat.