VAN HORN, TX – Despite being in space for a mere ten minutes, the man who played Captain Kirk in the 1960s version of Star Trek managed to seduce a sexy Klingon, a USS Enterprise psychologist, a...
Doug Ford announces all policies will now be based on 2008 Jim Carrey film ‘Yes Man’
TORONTO – After declaring himself the Premier who says Yes, Doug Ford has revealed that he made the decision after re-watching the moderate Jim Carrey hit ‘Yes Man.’ “Folks I w...
Opinion: I’m actually protesting at this hospital because the cafeteria options are bad
Sick Kids, Toronto – It appears there’s been a misunderstanding. I am not some jerk who is protesting at this hospital because I don’t want to be vaccinated. I am protesting at this hospital bec...
Adverse reaction experienced by ‘friend’s cousin’s boyfriend’ sole source of vaccine hesitancy
OTTAWA – Following a recent census, Health Canada has determined the sole source of vaccine hesitancy comes from an adverse reaction experienced by ‘friend’s, cousin’s, boyfriend’ or some simila...
Anti-vax family thankful they’ll have more leftovers this year
VANCOUVER – This Thanksgiving anti-vaxx family, the Millers, announced that they’ll be giving thanks for all the extra leftovers after several family members passed away from Covid-19 this year....
Wow! That guy who used to play the choking game when no one else wanted to is selling an air conditioner on Facebook
GUELPH, ON – Hey, remember Alex, that guy who always used to play the choking game (aka cutting off oxygen to the brain with the goal of inducing loss of consciousness/euphoria) when everyone el...
Biden opens US Border to Canadians who can prove they are vaccinated, don’t live in Alberta
WASHINGTON D.C. – Months after Canada opened our border to Americans, President Joe Biden is finally allowing Canadians to enter the U.S. by land, as long as they can show proof they have receiv...
Zodiac Killer identified as some fuckin’ guy
SAN FRANCISCO – After decades of unresolved police investigations, the notorious Zodiac Killer, who terrorized Northern California in the late 1960s, has been identified as some friggin’ dude no...
Ford exempts MPP from vaccine citing medical condition that causes her to lie about vaccination status
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is defending one of his MPPs for misrepresenting her vaccination status saying that she now has a medical condition that causes her to lie about her vaccinati...
