Vaughan ON – Many longtime patrons are still wondering what motivated Friendly Farmer John’s Hayrides to abruptly change their name to Farmer John’s Haunted Hayride. “I asked ...
Green Party stuck in a slow motion electric vehicle pile-up
SAANICH, BC – Dozens of bystanders watched in mild amusement as the Green Party leadership was trapped in a slow motion electric car pile-up. Highway 17 was at a standstill while Green political...
“I’m just happy to be here” says thick book propping up laptop
MOOSE JAW, SK – As more people work remotely than ever before, there are millions of thick books happily propping up their laptops. On the Origin of Species, the foundational book of the field o...
Devastated Toronto Blue Jays fans in perfect place mentally for Leafs season to start
TORONTO – After the Blue Jays were eliminated from the playoffs in dramatic fashion, experts agree that Toronto fans are now in the absolute ideal mental state to get ready for a new season of L...
Guest star in TV show must have won a contest or something
NEW YORK- This week’s episode of Law and Order: SVU continued to break viewership records, but the main mystery plaguing viewers was the actress playing Hudson University’s professor of English, who m...
Quiz: Do you live in a failed state or just Alberta?
Sometimes it’s difficult to tell whether you’re living in the Wild Rose Country or a distant failed state requiring UN intervention due to government failures. Take this quiz to find out. 1. What is t...
Man raised by wolves unable to explain his tech job to parents
TORONTO – Randolph Farkas was left utterly flummoxed after trying every conceivable way to explain what he does as a profession to his parents Luca and Fang, two adult gray wolves. Farkas, a ne...
Opinion: I am so much better than everyone in this Taco Bell
By: Bryler Chadwick Why is it that every time I eat at Taco Bell, I’m surrounded by people who eat at Taco Bell?! Like, what kind of people eat this crap? I’m a normal, respectable guy who works at a ...
Business refusing to enforce vaccine passport has been violating labour laws for years in preparation for this moment
TORONTO – Saying the moment he has been waiting for was finally here, David McGrath, owner of Tito’s Bar and Grill, proudly announced that those who were not vaccinated were just as welcome in h...
