Christmas tree still in house unsure if family Orthodox or just lazy
SASKATOON – A Christmas tree still on display in the Miller household’s living room is uncertain if the family that purchased it is planning to celebrate Orthodox Christmas, or if they’ve just be…
Novak Djokovic loses final of Australian Immigration Detention Island Open
CHRISTMAS ISLAND, AUSTRALIA – After being detained by the Australian Border Force for failing to meet the country’s vaccination requirements ahead of the Australian Open, Novak Djokovic has enter…
Erin O’Toole urges Canadians to accommodate the unvaccinated so they don’t feel excluded from the society they’re trying to destroy
OTTAWA – As yet another wave of COVID overwhelms hospitals and Canada’s ICUs fill with unvaccinated patients, Conservative leader Erin O’Toole is adamant that the large majority of Ca…
“Not having kids is selfish” says man who lives alone in golden palace
VATICAN CITY – Pope Francis has described people’s decisions to have pets instead of children as “selfish”, during a recent general audience in the opulent cathedral-like palace of which he…
Hero BlackBerry killed in action had one day left ‘til retirement
CALGARY – Local landscaper Peter Rugger announced today that his trusty BlackBerry device was killed in the line of duty after nearly twenty years of service and, tragically, with only one …
Republicans celebrate anniversary of insurrection by leaving AR-15s under their pillows in hopes for a visit from the big fat man
Washington, DC – January 6th, 2022 marks one year since Donald Trump supporters stormed the Capitol building, rioting after Trump lost the 2020 election to Joe Biden. To celebrate, Republic…
Study: 80% of boomer advice just ‘suck it up buttercup’
HALIFAX – A recent study revealed that 80% of boomer advice is just the phrase “Suck it up, Buttercup.” Conducted over the last five years, the study found that the advice was applied no ma…
Kids returning to their virtual school classrooms find them smaller than they remembered
TORONTO – Wistful and nostalgic students returning to virtual school across the country were surprised to find their old classrooms were smaller than they seemed in previous years. “Man, th…
Sunwing criticized for not making emergency release of drunken, maskless passengers at 35,000 feet
MONTREAL – Federal officials have blasted Sunwing airlines for not making an emergency release of its unruly and maskless passengers on a chartered flight from Montreal to Cancun. The trave…
Local cellphone loves lying about how much battery is left
KITIMAT, BC – A cellphone owned by local Elaine Jorgensen takes great delight in deceiving its owner in how much battery power remains by shutting off at the worst time possible, regardless…
