Which dating app should you go crawling back to during Omicron?
Remember how last year, you were so sure you were done with the toxicity of online dating and said you would put an honest to God effort into meeting someone in person this year instead of just t…
I know there’s a lot going on right now but would you mind watching this Kony2012 video super quick
Hey fellow members of the social media universe! I’m coming atcha with a really important message that none of us can risk ignoring. And while I know there’s a lot of wild happenings competing fo…
Man who just took bite out of scalding hot pizza going to ride this thing out until the bitter end
FREDERICTON – Recent reports have now confirmed that Tony Freedman, a local man who took an initial bite of incredibly hot pizza moments ago, plans to just keep that bite in his mouth until it’s …
Study finds strong correlation between playing loud music in public and having terrible taste in music
BERLIN ― New research from the Berlin University of the Arts has revealed that those with the greatest tendency to play music at maximum volume on subways, in college dorms, and while biking thro…
Quebec to impose financial penalty against unvaccinated, and minorities just for funsies
QUÉBEC CITY – The province of Québec has announced plans to charge a tax on unvaccinated citizens who make up the bulk of COVID hospitalizations, as well as visible religious minorities “ju…
Ontario schools to notify parents about Covid exposures only if child’s head lice contracts virus
OTTAWA – Ontario’s Ministry of Health outlined back-to-school Covid-19 policies for teachers, students, and parents on Monday, explaining that moving forward, parents will only be notified …
Friend clearly trying to one-up your ‘I got COVID despite not going anywhere’ story
TORONTO – After you posted that you tested positive for COVID despite barely leaving the house, friends in the comments took the opportunity to advise that they too have been diagnosed with…
Affordable Toronto apartment only costs 3/4s of monthly income
TORONTO – Local English teacher Bob Kelly was overwhelmed to find an affordable apartment in Toronto’s west end. The one-bedroom walk-up located in the Parkdale neighborhood will only cost …
Peloton instructor decides to share a personal tidbit
NEW YORK- Shock is sweeping the upper middle class as today’s 20 Min Christian Hip Hop Peloton Ride was punctuated by the instructor’s decision to share a personal tidbit. Instructor Cory O’Riley…
Local man pulls fire alarm to avoid friends discovering he doesn’t like Succession
VICTORIA, BC – During a recent lunch at Burke’s Cafe, local paralegal Marc Antwern felt he had no choice but to pull a fire alarm to avoid his friends discovering that he does not like HBO’…
