Strung out province comes crawling back to Dealer for another hit - The Beaverton

Strung out province comes crawling back to Dealer for another hit

TORONTO – After swearing they were done with him and everything he offers, the province of has come crawling back to its dealer for another taste.

“Hey man! You holding any highway construction or development permits today,” said the province into the dealer’s apartment buzzer after saying the password ‘folks.’

“I’ll also take some notwithstanding clauses and an eighth of healthcare privatization,” it added.

After first turning to the dealer 4 years ago in a time of crisis the Province has tried to kick its habit numerous times. It seemed as if it was finally ready to move on as recently as a few months ago, before boredom, apathy and a maudlin curiosity over how bad things could possibly get drove it right back.

“Look I’m not proud to be here. But something about him draws me in like a moth to a flame. Plus those other dealers were SO boring,” said the Province.

The Dealer soon buzzed the Province up, announcing he had some new shit that was gonna really knock him and the environment out cold.