Hybrid work model feels more like an indica

BURLINGTON — Following the introduction of a back-to-work schedule that requires staff to be in the office three days a week, employees at local startup Spinjack Digital say the new hybrid model …

Poilievre counters “obnoxious nerd” image by revealing he’s into bitcoin

OTTAWA – In order to combat his well-known public image as an “insufferable know-it-all geek”, Conservative leadership hopeful Pierre Poilievre has revealed that he is also very into crypto…

Conservatives say Trudeau will be defeated like all other dictators: in an election

OTTAWA – Having repeatedly called PM Justin Trudeau a dictator comparable to Vladimir Putin, the Conservative Party is vowing to stop him the same way freedom loving people have stopped all…

NHL refs an inspiration to millions who would love to get paid for not doing their job

TORONTO – Usually it’s the hockey players that are praised for inspiring people. But today people are taking time to praise the unsung heroes of the game, the refs, for letting them k…

Peaches vow to use your face as butt emoji

NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE – Thousands of peaches rolled down Queen Street to protest their famous emoji, which they claim is a lewd depiction of their community. Demonstrators held signs with the…

Oscars pledge to have more diversity in styles of fighting at next year’s ceremony

Los Angeles, CA – After receiving heavy criticism for a lack of diversity at this year’s ceremonies, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has pledged to include a larger variety …

Local woman apologizes for doing job correctly

VICTORIA, BC – A local woman is grappling with a bad habit she can’t seem to shake: apologizing for doing her job correctly. “See, the problem was I organized the reports by invoice number …

Oscars present lifetime achievement award to toxic masculinity

LOS ANGELES- The Academy presented their prestigious lifetime achievement award last night to veteran of filmmaking and perennial awards season favourite, toxic masculinity. Recognized by fans an…

Modern-day Caligula brings two bags of chips to bed with him

CALGARY – Sources report that 27-year-old Elliot Greenwood has amazed and disturbed onlookers by bringing two bags of chips into bed with him. “I really like sour cream and onion, but I also real…

Ontario reaches $10 child-care deal after Doug Ford achieves sole objective of no one getting help for a full year

QUEEN’S PARK – As Ontario becomes the last province to sign a deal on the Federal Government’s $10-per-day child-care plan, Premier Doug Ford took credit for achieving his sole negotiating …