25% off sale on pants actually just regular price capris
TORONTO – Controversy arose this week at a downtown location of the popular retailer Urban Outfitters, as a “25% Off Pants” sale was revealed to be a rack of regularly priced capri pants. Shopper…
Doug Ford declares Monday September 19th “Cry At Your Desk Day”
TORONTO — After Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced yesterday that September 19th would be a nationwide holiday to commemorate the death of Queen Elizabeth II, Ontario Premier Doug Ford…
1,392 Shoppers Drug Mart locations tie for “worst”
BRAMPTON — The results of a customer satisfaction survey have revealed that all 1,392 Shoppers Drug Mart locations have tied for worst. This data vindicates millions of Canadians who have long-to…
Saskatchewan man berates couple for calling a bunnyhug a hoodie
REGINA, SK — A local couple recently found themselves the target of a hate-filled rant for failing to refer to a hoodie by the Saskatchewan term, ‘bunnyhug’. Regina resident Ken Blanchett was sho…
Everything you need to know about Pierre Poilievre
Pierre Poilievre has been elected leader of the Conservative Party of Canada. And if you didn’t follow the race closely you might be wondering ‘who is this person?’ Is he horrib…
Canadian government announces ten days of mourning for the 45000 Canadians who’ve died of COVID, jk, it’s for that one rich lady
OTTAWA – Canadians were shocked and gladened this week when the Canadian government finally acknowledged the immense amount of loss the country has suffered over the three years of the COVI…
Wedding could have been an email
CALGARY — Eye witnesses indicate the wedding celebration of local couple Katy Myer and Brad Pedrad could absolutely have just been an email instead. “The entire time I was thinking: do I need to …
Breaking: Canada loses Conservative Leadership Race
OTTAWA – The results of the CPC leadership competition are in and, on the very first ballot, the country of Canada lost. “The results couldn’t be more clear,” said political analyst Martha …
Luggage on better vacation than owner
PEARSON AIRPORT – After spending their full 10 day vacation apart, a checked Samsonsite suitcase definitely enjoyed a better vacation than its owner. Sara Burke departed Toronto Pearson Air…
