Trudeau unsure how many autographed headshots Katy Perry will want for Christmas
OTTAWA – Finishing out the last of his holiday shopping, former Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has reportedly asked aides how many autographed 8×10 photographs of himself to gift to his…
Local woman goes into hiding after co-worker finds her tumblr
SURREY, BC – Local accounts supervisor Megan Carlyle, has left behind all traces of her former life after learning that an office acquaintance stumbled upon her tumblr page. “It’s breached contai…
Canadian economy rallies as #1 export now Heated Rivalry
OTTAWA – Canada’s economy, which has spent the year reeling due to American tariffs, is finishing the year strong thanks to the country’s new chief export, the gay hockey-romanc…
Carney asks Santa for majority government, some scratch-offs
“Also a nice pair of socks.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and Clare Blackwood) talk the Liberals’ scheme to get Conservative MPs to cross floor, Poilievre’s disastrou…
Stranger Things to eventually release Season 5, Volume 4: Chapters 9-17 – Acts One and Two
Hawkins, Indiana – Netflix has announced that they plan to release the highly anticipated potential conclusion to Stranger Things, eventually. “We know fans got a real kick out of Season 5,…
Worse than a Disney Adult? Childless woman attends Santa Claus parade
Jarvis, ON — In a move experts are calling “genuinely unhinged,” a childless woman was spotted attending the Jarvis Santa Claus Parade entirely of her own volition, raising questions …
New Canadian trade deal with India only allows for 1 assassination per year
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney and Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi have reportedly outlined a first draft of the Comprehensive Economic Partnership Agreement, which includes a sub-…
Metrolinx wins bid to build new Alberta pipeline
EDMONTON – With Ottawa agreeing to fast track construction of a pipeline from Alberta’s oil sands to the Pacific coast, the Alberta legislature announced that Ontario-based transportation company…
U.S. plan to inspect Canadians’ social media overwhelmed by Peter Mansbridge thirst traps
NIAGARA FALLS – A recently U.S. proposal to demand 5 years of social media history from travellers has hit a snag, as American customs agents were wholly overwhelmed by the sheer volume of …
“Am I invading Venezuela for oil or to distract from Epstein?” Trump asks coatrack
MAR-A-LAGO, FL – Sources report President Donald J. Trump was seen questioning his own motivations behind a series of shocking recent moves in Venezuela, along with a close confidant who wa…
