REGINA – As part of his larger effort to teach all children (but especially trans children) that his government does not consider them human, Saskatchewan Premier Scott Moe has promised to use the notwithstanding clause of Canada’s constitution to ensure that children under 16 in his province no longer have the right to determine their own names and pronouns at school.
“Rights are for people,” Moe said, announcing his intent to use the notwithstanding clause of Canada’s Charter of Rights and Freedoms. “If these children don’t like what we’re doing to them, well, they can simply vote us out. Oh, what’s that? Children can’t vote? Of course they can’t, seeing as how they’re not people.”
Saskatchewan isn’t the only province to recently decide that children don’t have human rights because some of them are trans. New Brunswick is also bringing in a policy that prevents children from choosing their own names and pronouns at school without getting the approval of the child’s parents, and the Ontario minister of education has indicated that province may follow suit.
The political fallout from these decisions is expected to be minimal until Canada’s parents start voting out right-wing legislators who punish vulnerable children with the same amount of ferocity with which right-wing legislators punish vulnerable children. But Moe is confident that as long as parents feel their own ability to treat their children as property isn’t in danger, neither is his government.
“It is in the best interest of children to ensure parents are included in their children’s education, in their classrooms and in all important decisions involving their children,” Moe said. “And by ‘included,’ I mean have the absolute final say about the very core of the child’s identity regardless of whether or not it makes the child miserable.”
“And by ‘best interest of children’, I mean the best interest of parents, who are the only actual people in this scenario because as I’ve already established during this press conference and will soon establish in law, children aren’t people.”
At press time, Moe was exploring whether he could take away women’s right to vote in Saskatchewan by declaring them as a new breed of dog.