OTTAWA – Basking in the glow of polls finally turning in the Conservative Party’s direction, leader Pierre Poilievre says that, like so many Tory PMs before, he owes his success to ha…
Tag: Conservatives
Tories double-down on using Heritage Minutes to blame Trudeau for 1850s Irish refugee crisis
TORONTO – Despite requests not to use Heritage Minutes for political purposes by its creators, the Conservative Party of Canada has released a new attack ad using the 1991 Heritage Minute o…
Trudeau attempts fancy cabinet shuffle, spills MPs all over floor
OTTAWA – In what political insiders are calling his first major misstep of an election year, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau humiliated himself today by trying and failing to pull off a very …
Ford announces new Ontario license plate slogan “washrooms are for customers only”
QUEEN’S PARK – Shortly after unveiling Ontario’s new “Open for Business” border signs, Premier Ford has announced that the province’s iconic “yours to discover” license plates will be discontinue…
Conservatives reassure voters that citizenship begins at conception
HALIFAX — Following the its biannual convention, the Conservative Party of Canada has reassured voters of its official position that citizenship will be granted at the exact moment a baby is conc…
Lifelong New Democrat excited to vote NDP for first time
Peterborough, ON – Having been a die-hard NDP supporter since he was in undergrad, local man Jason Newman, 33, is looking forward to not strategically voting for the Liberals in order to be…
Liberals backtrack on their promise to only backtrack on 50% of their promises
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau’s Liberal Party continues to find the reality of governing more difficult than making campaign promises. After electoral reform and environmental protection they are…
Ontario PCs pick black, queer woman as new leader and just kidding it’s another white guy
TORONTO – In the wake of the sudden resignation of Patrick Brown due to sexual assault allegations, the Ontario Progressive Conservatives have stunned the world by appointing a black, homosexual …
Nation can’t remember what Stephen Harper looks like
OTTAWA – In the wake of Stephen Harper’s open letter on the NAFTA renegotiations the entire nation of Canada has realized they no longer have any idea what their previous prime minister looks lik…
NDP excited to pick leader strong enough to split the left wing vote
OTTAWA – With the NDP leadership race revving up, party members are enthusiastic about finding a leader popular enough to divide progressive voters straight down the middle. “I’ve been dreaming o…
