Conservatives drop private school tax deduction after realizing higher enrollment might lead to poors mixing with the quality - The Beaverton
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Conservatives drop private school tax deduction after realizing higher enrollment might lead to poors mixing with the quality

OTTAWA – As the federal election looms, Conservative leader has gone back on his promise to give a $4000 tax credit to offset the costs of tuition after wealthy parents objected on the grounds that it could result in middle and even lower class students being in the same school as their own, better class of child.

“The Conservative Party is still committed to gutting the public education system, but we acknowledge expanding private school attendance is not the best way to achieve this, at least not while keeping everyone in their proper place,” Scheer said. “Rest assured, we’ll find another way to ensure Canada has an old-fashioned, two tier primary education system.”

“Perhaps some sort of phrenology based admission standard,” he mused.

Despite studies showing that when socioeconomic status and the fact that private schools are able to choose which students they accept are taken into consideration, attendance at private schools does not result in higher test scores or better educational outcomes, five provinces (British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba and Quebec) continue to subsidize private, independent and religious schools with public funds.

While the parents of private school students in Canada fully support funds continuing to be diverted from the public system to their children’s exclusive private educations, they draw the line at any policy that might mean those funds are available to other parents to pay for their children to attend these expensive schools.

“I’m just glad the have seen the error of their ways,” said Justine Kline, Conservative voter and parent of two children who attend private school. “I couldn’t in good conscience vote for anyone trying to increase private school attendance. I shudder to think of little Seraphina and Finn having to go to school with – how can I put this delicately – urchins.”

“I mean, why else would I put them in private school?”

Andrew Scheer has assured voters that while private school rebates are off the table, he will not renege on any of his other promises, like replacing the carbon tax with a prayer based pollution reduction plan or giving corporations massive tax breaks for forcing their workers to sing the national anthem every hour on the hour.

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