TORONTO – A white-throated sparrow that had the misfortune of flying into the Toronto Pearson Airport has become the muse of many terrible artists within the terminal. “It’s like a metaphor,” cr...
Journalists should only become the news if they are white: Toronto Star Public Editor
BY: KATHY ENGLISH, TORONTO STAR PUBLIC EDITOR It has long been the policy of the Toronto Star that black journalists not take public stands on public issues or become the news. By exercising his right...
Saskatchewan government replaces funeral services for poor with funeral catapult
REGINA – The Saskatchewan government’s budget cuts have eliminated funeral services for those unable to afford it, and will instead offer a free catapult service. Rather than cremation or burial...
Hillary Clinton maintains composure during first run-in with America at cafe they used to go to together
WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to sources, Hillary Clinton reportedly came off well during a chance encounter with the United States of America in the cafe they used to frequent together. It was t...
House GOP excited to finally read new AHCA bill they just passed
WASHINGTON, D.C. — House Republicans told reporters this afternoon that they are excited to actually read the text of the American Health Care Act, which they just voted 217 – 212 to pass....
Police confirm driving while shame eating on the rise
TORONTO – After a citywide blitz by the Toronto Police, over one hundred people have received tickets for operating a vehicle while eating their emotions away. “Sadly it has become all too common for ...
Scientists discover new thing wrong with the female face
LOS ANGELES – In a press release this morning, the chemistry department at the University of California announced that they have discovered a completely new flaw in the female face. “The discove...
Canadian playwrights scramble to find next American tragedy to make all about us
NEW YORK – In the wake of 7 Tony-nominations for the Newfoundland-set Come From Away, playwrights across Canada are hard at work on the next musical romp that capitalizes on an American disaster...
Senate Republicans divided on Trump’s plan to kill us all
WASHINGTON, DC – Republicans remained divided Monday, as a vote neared on President Trump’s controversial proposal to kill everyone on earth. The proposed “Liquidation Of All Human Life Act” leg...
QUIZ: You just ate processed cheese off the floor. Didn’t you used to be better than this?
Oh, boy. You went and did it. You just ate that slice of cheese that fell on the floor, didn’t you? You might be wondering what you should do next. Well, this is a great time to reflect on yourself an...
