ARKANSAS – Consultation of public records has revealed that several executed animals were found in areas near where the state of Arkansas would later go on to kill human beings. “Violence toward...
Dating trends: Single Newfoundlanders bring family tree to blind dates to avoid dating cousins
CORNER BROOK, NL – In a trend that’s sweeping across Newfoundland and Labrador, more singles are bringing extensive layouts of their family trees to their first dates to avoid dating their dista...
Donald Trump Jr. killed in drive-by revenge shooting by elephants
Mar-A-Lago, FL – Tragedy struck the First Family today, when Donald Trump Jr. died of his injuries shortly after being riddled with bullets by a group of elephants in a Cadillac 4×4. “Poor ...
Senate expected to expel Don Meredith within the next 15-20 years
OTTAWA – After an ethics committee determined that Don Meredith is unfit to be a member of the Upper House due to his having sexual relations with a minor, the Senate has announced it will remov...
7 times Anna Kendrick was fierce AF about the softwood lumber tariff dispute
Oh Anna. Just when we thought we couldn’t love you anymore you show us what it means to be a Bawse Bitch with your statements on the financial dispute between Canada and America over the import/export...
Campers capture grainy footage proving existence of legendary BC Conservative party
Kelowna, BC – A pair of campers hoping to take in the sights of springtime in the bucolic Okanagan Valley got more than they bargained for when they unwittingly captured the first video evidence...
Man suffering no adverse effects one month after deciding not to watch “Iron Fist”
ELORA, ON – In a promising case that has the scientific community cautiously optimistic, local man Kyle Redding appears to be no worse off for his decision not to watch Marvel’s Netflix se...
Forgive and forget: local woman reconciles with the fire that burnt down her home
Dauphin, MB – After her home, along with many others, was destroyed in a neighbourhood fire last year, local woman Rebecca Sikes told herself that she never wanted to see another fire as long as...
Trump announces tariffs on earthquakes originating from Canada
WASHINGTON – In response to the earthquake that originated in northern BC and shook parts of Alaska and Yukon this morning, US President Donald Trump has placed a 24% tariff on all cross-border ...
BC Liberals offer Groupon so voters can meet Christy Clark at half her normal rate
VICTORIA – In a bid to soften their corporate reputation in time for election day, the BC Liberals have rolled out a Groupon offer, so voters can glad-hand with Christy Clark for a discount on h...
