The Beaverton

Local father already owns every possible tie

WOODSTOCK, ON – Local father Chuck Lowridge has announced that he will not be celebrating Father’s Day this year as he has already been given every possible necktie over the past thirty years. “M…

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Optimist drowns in glass half-full

VANCOUVER, BC – The body of local man, Eric Heston, known by many as one of the most optimistic people they’ve ever met, was pulled last night from the bottom a glass sources say he would d…

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