OTTAWA – Following public comments in which Conservative MP Jamil Jivani blamed Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney for failed trade talks with U.S. President Donald Trump, Canadians across the country have responded by each kicking in a few bucks to purchase him a one way ticket to travel to Washington D.C. and never return.
“Liberal politicians like Mark Carney and Doug Ford have put their political self-interests ahead of Canadian workers,” tweeted Jivani, prompting Canadians from Vancouver to St. John’s to quickly take up a collection, and purchase a one-way non-refundable Air Canada fare to the American capital.
“Maybe his best friend JD Vance can pick him up at the airport, if he can get off the couch,” added Margaret Chomly of Peterborough, ON, as she emptied out the change dish in her kitchen to pitch into the fund to rid Canada of Jivani.
At a time when Canadians are bracing for the economic impacts of President Trump’s 50% tariffs on some Canadian goods, many freely admit that the first monetary sacrifice they’re willing and eager to make is pitching in their own cash money to “say good fucking bye” to Jivani.
Ejecting the MP for Bowmanville—Oshawa North, whose attitude towards Trump’s trade war can best be described as “Vichy France-esque”, has proven resoundingly popular. Canadians from every province and territory have submitted in cash, interac transfers, and a cumulative 18 foot stack of Canadian Tire money totalling out to $4.85 CDN.
One mysterious sizeable donation arrived with a sign reading “Make sure he stays down there, signed, Pierre P.”
At press time, Donald Trump still could not care less who the fuck Jamil Jivani is.
