KINGSTON, ON – Local fitness enthusiast Rebecca Lee is currently on her third lap around the gym, hoping against hope she’ll find a place to do glute bridges without an audience.
“I’m not sure why she’s having so much trouble,” said gym staffer, George Hunter. “You’d think it’d be easy to find a spot to lay on the floor, place a barbell across your hips, and hump the air to the rhythmic clanging of metal plates.”
According to witnesses, everywhere Lee has tried setting up for glute bridges has either turned out to be right in front of rows of dudes in massage chairs, or within mutilating distance of a sweaty grad student’s erratic dumbbell flys.
“Maybe I could do my glute bridges in the nook by the water fountain,” Lee said. “I’d just need to carry the bar and plates from the other end of the building, and then carry them back again when I’m done. Five trips each way. Six max.”
As of reporting, Lee was joined by a man seeking the most visible place to scream while squatting.