Progressive company introduces unisex boardrooms

MONTREAL – In an effort to promote inclusivity within their company, mutual fund giant QPM Investments has announced a bold new plan to introduce unisex boardrooms. “In 2017, having separate coun…

Editorial: Have you tried the healing powers of crystals? – by your coworker Julie

BY: YOUR COWORKER JULIE Greetings all, I know many of you made New Year’s Resolutions to get healthy – good for you! Such a brave step. I am proud of you! With so much misinformation about fad di…

Guide To: Montreal

  “Montreal is the capital of Quebec…probably.”…

Science Minister discovers parliamentary interns solve maze 20% faster after Serum injection

OTTAWA – In a major discovery, Science Minister Kirsty Duncan has found that Parliamentary Pages solve her mazes an average of 20% faster, after a course of Serum injections. “On the left, …

Man who isn’t listening confused by what you just said

ST. JOHN’S — Recent reports from your workplace suggest that George Everrett, the man with whom you’ve been talking for three minutes, has not listened to a word you just said and is decidi…

Man’s attempt to cut fresh bread goes horribly, horribly wrong

BRANTFORD, ON – Traumatized victims are attempting to move on with their lives after witnessing a disastrous attempt by local man Ian Pendergast to cut a loaf of fresh bread into equal slic…

Tory MPs laugh at colleague who once performed manual labour without servant help

OTTAWA – Conservative MPs had a great laugh at the expense of Infrastructure Minister Amarjeet Sohi after hearing he once had a job involving manual labour and no help from domestic servant…

Abortion Protest

  “Thank god they were there”…

5 adorable dogs who also regret supporting Donald Trump

Dogs are man’s best friend. But just like humans; sometimes they make mistakes, like chewing shoes or supporting a dictator. Here are 5 pups who also wish they hadn’t thrown their sup…

Editorial: Son, you have completely ruined Flag Day

BY: PETER G. GRIMSHAW Your mother and I are very, very disappointed in you and your behaviour on this sacred annual day. You ought to be ashamed of yourself for ruining National Flag of Canada Da…