‘No one took my podcast recommendations seriously,’ yuppie bemoans
TORONTO – 26-year-old Samuel Griff shakes his head disdainfully as he recollects the countless times his podcast recommendations have been dismissed by friends, family, and co-workers. “I j…
Guide To: Travelling To The US
Travelling to the United States of America? Be sure to take these precautions!…
Thousands arrested under Shariah law after passage of anti-Islamophobia motion, imagines local man
STRATHROY, ON – A local man’s imagination is reporting that thousands of Canadians have been incarcerated under the country’s new Sharia law, thanks to the passage of the Anti-Islamophobia …
Local cuck ‘cucksplaining’ why he’s not a cuck
WINNIPEG, MB – Contrary to anyone who has met the man, local cuck, Charles Bennington, known to many in the community as “Chuck the Cuck,” has reportedly been “cucksplaining” to anyone who …
Breaking: Trump missing after chasing errant balloon through streets of D.C.
WASHINGTON D.C. – Authorities have issued an amber alert for the lost and presumed missing Donald Trump, last seen chasing a loose balloon through the streets of the U.S. capitol. “We had just ex…
QUIZ: Which Anne of Green Gables are you?
From the windblown sand of Prince Edward Island, to the potato fields also of Prince Edward Island, Lucy Maud Montgomery’s iconic tale of a red headed, scrappy orphan girl has been a staple of Ca…
Budget 2017: What you need to know
Finance Minister Bill Morneau announced the federal government’s 2017 budget. Here are some of the details: $50,000 to re-announce what was in the 2016 budget $100,000 for life-sized mannequins o…
I’m not really sure what an Innovation Minister is supposed to do
BY: NAVDEEP BAINS, MINISTER OF INNOVATION, SCIENCE, AND ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT CANADA As the Minister of Innovation, Science, and Economic Development of Canada, I’m consulting all Canadians for su…
Woman not sure why cousin liked her Facebook photo at 3 in the morning
MONCTON- According to recent reports, local woman Sophie Adams is still not entirely sure why her cousin liked her Facebook photo at 3am. “Best case scenario, Tom’s in a different time zone, or h…
Historians confirm BC’s second premier was Canada’s first hipster
VICTORIA – A group of historians at the University of Victoria have confirmed that British Columbia’s second premier, Amor De Cosmos, was the earliest hipster to settle in Canada. Dr. H. Lu…
