The Beaverton

I am a Frosh Party Animal

By Martin ‘Figs’ Figlinsky My friends, I have to tell you, this year’s frosh celebration was really awesome! The University of Toronto has really topped itself. This was by far one of…

Share

U.S. Air Force stealth bomber too stealthy

(UNDISCLOSED LOCATION) – Radar cannot detect it, and neither can the human eye. The U.S. Air Force’s top-secret stealth bomber, the C-THRU 117, a state-of-the-art aircraft so incredibly ste…

Share

Cinnabon employee called ‘chief’

BURLINGTON, ON – A cashier at a local Cinnabon was addressed as ‘chief’ yesterday. Bill Pitkin, owner of an Oshawa-based landscaping company, had just finished a big meal at Eas…

Share

Vernon Wells struggles with entrance music

TORONTO – Toronto Blue Jays center fielder Vernon Wells is in a slump, but it has nothing to do with his bat or his glove. The 31-year-old told reporters that he is profoundly troubled by t…

Share

Subscribe to our mailing list