BREAKING: Donald Trump’s 2015 tax return revealed
NEW YORK – Republican candidate Donald Trump’s 2015 tax return was recently leaked to the press and shows that the billionaire has claimed millions in business expenses and having an income…
Tearful goodbye as woman slides into large wool turtleneck for next 6 months
MONTREAL – Friends and colleagues wished Mara Côté a heartfelt goodbye this afternoon, as the notoriously chilly account manager slid effortlessly inside an oversized wool turtleneck for the dura…
Parliament forced to re-vote after pile of wet flour mistaken for Tom Mulcair
OTTAWA – In a surprising turn of events this week, Parliament was forced to retake a vote after a pile wet flour was mistaken for NDP leader Thomas Mulcair. “I just assumed [Thomas Mulcair]…
World Cup of Hockey won by plucky, Canadian overdogs
TORONTO – Coming from ahead and proving to the world that they are exactly what everyone says they are, team Canada has confirmed the odds were accurate by attaining a completely expected v…
Mississauga-born MP caught lying about being born in Toronto
TORONTO – A Globe and Mail investigation into an MP’s actual birthplace has revealed that Science Minister Kirsty Duncan was, in fact, born in neighbouring Mississauga rather than the City …
BREAKING: Audience members sought for live taping of The Beaverton TV show
TORONTO – Coming this Fall to TVs and TV-like devices is The Beaverton… BUT you can get a sneak preview now by attending a FREE TAPING and being part of our live studio audience! Not …
Local woman devastated by news that ex-boyfriend still alive, happy
WINNIPEG – Local woman Anna Saab was devastated to learn Thursday that her ex-boyfriend, Antoine Girard, was found alive, still residing in her town, and happy. The former couple ended thei…
Budding douchebag shows up with Ayn Rand novel
REGINA – Reports are circulating that local man Taylor Klint has continued his evolution along the douchebag spectrum by publicly reading and quoting from The Fountainhead. “I knew where he…
Local jets losing their mind at dog show
EDMONTON – A dog show has caused an uproar among local jet owners, after the show caused many jets to become panicked and upset. “All day my cute little Lockheed Martin RQ-3 Darkstar ‘Fluff…
Toronto voted best city in the world by people who’ve never been anywhere else
TORONTO – Ontario’s capital has yet again been voted the greatest city in the world by those who’ve never stepped foot outside its borders. “It’s not only the fashion capital of the world, it’s a…
