Report: Trump’s first mini-boss defeated - The Beaverton

Report: Trump’s first mini-boss defeated

WASHINGTON – Anti- activists across the country are celebrating following the resignation of National Security Advisor , the first mini-boss in the gauntlet of minions which must be battled to reach the President in his dark castle.

Flynn was encountered at the end of the “From With ” level which required individuals to collect seven inflammatory dossiers on the Trump administration’s close ties with Russia. Although this task was accomplished early on and without much effort, members of the public were stymied as to how to use the material.

“Trump and his cronies seemed to have their controversy stats maxed out and a high resistance to our shame attacks. We had the proof that they were cavorting with Putin but no idea what to do with it,” said Margaret ‘SKillz49_WOLF’ Middleton, “Eventually we realized that Flynn’s weakness wasn’t a direct attack but to widen his existing blackmail vulnerability, and also hit him three times. It was super effective!”

“We then realized that he would periodically stop to recharge, at which point the back of his blazer flapped open to reveal a big ‘X’. That was a huge help,” Middleton added.

Once it was revealed that Flynn had discussed sanctions with the Russian Ambassador without authorization, he began flashing red and yellow at an increasing rate. Reports suggest that it was only after his credibility had been reduced to zero that he self-destructed, clearing the level.

“I thought the “Mass Protests” level was tough since I’m really no good at rhythm mini-games and all that chanting was really tricky to time correctly in order to counter their “Ultra Cuck Attacks” but then we had to face-off against Flynn and I realized what difficult really was,” said Kyle ‘Ultra_Max67’ Naughton, an accountant and avid political gamer.

Following the defeat of Flynn, the Resistance movement has been given the choice of facing either in the “Enchanted Forest of Lies” stage or in the “Drained Swamp of Despair”. Each success grants a certain amount of experience and brings players one step closer to the final showdown with at his Mar-A-Lago Fortress. However, some insiders speculate that this may be a misdirect and the real final boss will be revealed to be Dark Lord Bannon.

“Right now our priority is to save our progress so that we don’t have to repeat any fights we’ve already passed,” said Bernie ‘SandDawg’ Sanders, ”it’ll be tough to defeat Trump, but we have the dedication, public support, and quarters to pull it off!”

When asked for comment, Donald Trump said only: “Hahahahah. Puny Americans. All your political base are belong to us. Hahahahaha.”