OTTAWA — Ducking merrily into a spray of confetti, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced this morning that from now on he would be travelling exclusively by pride parade. “This is the 21st century,”...
Local woman getting concerned after Facebook asks her how her father’s surgery went
VANCOUVER – Local woman Rachel Tremblay has become concerned Facebook is too familiar with her life, after the social media site asked her how her father’s kidney stone removal earlier today had...
Local toddler couldn’t give a shit how many times parents saved his life today
OAKVILLE, ON – Leaping off the armrest of a recliner and just barely being caught by his mother mid-air, inches away from making impact with the hardwood floor, local two-year-old Ben Martel cou...
Expos fans hopeful MLB will take asylum seekers as proof Montreal can fill Big O
MONTREAL — A group of dedicated Expos fans sent a letter to the MLB, Wednesday, offering the hundreds of asylum seekers taking refuge in the Olympic Stadium as proof of the stadium’s ability to ...
Sadly, today’s college students won’t let me exercise my free speech just because this is a silent reading room in a library
By Adam Carolla Nobody else is saying it, so I’m going to—today’s college students are spoiled. By allowing them to cower in “safe spaces” and “quiet study zones” and “single occupant washrooms”, we m...
Canadian media promise to start covering NDP leadership as soon as Kellie Leitch runs for NDP leader
Every week Beaverton editor-in-chief Luke Gordon Field assembles some of the country’s best comedians and writers to talk, mock and riff their way through the news of the week. Then he puts thei...
Wow! This YouTube celeb makes 50k a month doing pretty bad makeup tutorials
Incredible. YouTube personality Jordan Peterson makes over 50 thousand dollars every month, even though his makeup tutorials are, by most accounts, not super great. “Jordan Peterson is the only YouTub...
Trump dreading performance review with Putin after signing Russia sanctions
WASHINGTON DC — After signing a bill aimed at punishing Russia for meddling in the 2016 election, President Donald Trump is reportedly “not looking forward” to an upcoming performance review wit...
NRA unveils new line of guns designed to appeal to gay community
“We’ve always supported gay rights. Specifically the gay right to bear arms.”...
Aides look on aghast as Donald Trump stares directly at the sun for thirty minutes
STERLING, VA – The forty-fifth president of the United States spent thirty minutes staring directly into the sun today on the putting green of the eighth hole of the Trump National Golf Club in ...
