Via Rail’s Canada 150 passes delayed until 2019
MONTREAL – Despite their best efforts to get them printed and shipped, Via Rail confirmed this morning that they would be delaying their Canada 150 youth passes until 2019. “I know Canada 1…
After cleaning his laptop screen, man discovers he’s been typing on old pizza box for months
LONDON – After a thorough cleaning Rodney Rubberts discovered that what he thought was his laptop was actually an empty pizza box he’s been typing on for months. “I just got frustrated,” st…
Study: Balding men sexy, balding women need to go back to the garbage cave where they belong
SASKATOON, SK. – A recent study shed light on the sexual desirability of balding men, while simultaneously concluding that balding women just need to go back to the garbage cave where they …
Political cartoonist under mistaken impression that political cartoonists have never been more important
OTTAWA – Robert Belmont, a cartoonist who contributes editorial cartoons to several major newspapers, incorrectly believes that political cartoonists have never been more important than the…
RCMP report dickheaded Canada geese greatest threat to national security
OTTAWA — RCMP Commissioner Bob Paulson has declared asshole Canadian geese are the largest security threat facing the country. “Canadians are more likely to be attacked by these dangerous w…
Inclusivity win! Disney adds gay character to ‘Song of the South’ remake
Get ready Disney fans. In a progressive move, Disney has promised its new Song of the South remake will also feature a gay character. “We understand that times have changed, and we need to change…
Leitch defends using Nazi gun: “It was a gift from my grandfather”
COLLINGWOOD, ON – Conservative leadership candidate Kellie Leitch has defended using a World War II-era handgun used by German soldiers in a fundraising email claiming it was a gift given t…
Disney’s animatronic Trump tragically seems to understand what it is
ORLANDO, FL – Walt Disney World’s “Hall of Presidents” exhibit has temporarily closed for the addition of its 45th animatronic president, which will join mechanical representations of state…
Senator Beyak demands residential school survivors apologize for her suffering
OTTAWA – Conservative Senator Lynn Beyak is demanding an apology from survivors of residential schools after she was traumatized by all the negative things they’ve said about what she calls…
Why the fight over the Arctic will doom us all
BV+ takes a look at the Arctic.…
