OTTAWA – Counter-protesters have erected a traditional sprawling suburb on Parliament Hill in response to a group of grassroots indigenous activists who set up a tepee for the Canada 150 celebrations.
The reactionary group constructed a 50-plot residential area on the western-half of Parliament Hill last night which is complete with identical houses and an SUV in every driveway.
“While I respect the point of view from the Aboriginals, we have to honour our productive, money-making ancestors who were stewards of their perfect hedged lawns,” explained activist and soccer mom Bev Carter. “They were the first explorers who boldly looked outside the chaotic cities to find their own land that belonged to someone else. It’s our way of life.”
The suburb, which has been called ‘New Kanata’, is both a symbolic recognition of modern settlers who “helped build Canada”, and a literal extension of Kanata, Ontario.
“We have also placed a golf course and country club near the Centennial Flame as an homage to the traditional games played by our upper-middle class fathers,” Carter said who had already started to petition for activists to add a private school to their demonstration for her children.
At press time, the non-indigenous activists had already dumped mercury into the Ottawa River after mining the lawn for gold near the tepee.