Man in new relationship becoming that which once he hated

KITCHENER — Local man Richard Stephens, having only recently begun a new relationship after several years of being single, has already found himself mired in the depths of the hackneyed, overly r…

Paw Patrol investigated for sexist hiring practices

ADVENTURE BAY – Paw Patrol, a team of pups that save the day whenever there’s a problem, is under investigation by the Adventure Bay Human Rights Bureau for sexist hiring practices. Ryder, …

Trump’s 100th day gala celebrated “longest ever” presidential term

WASHINGTON D.C. – Donald Trump skipped the White House correspondents’ dinner this weekend, opting instead to hold a rally celebrating his 100th day in office – the “longest ever term…

Celebrated dealmaker Donald Trump trades Alaska back to Russia in exchange for beans

Anchorage, AK – American President Donald Trump has made a deal with Russian President Vladimir Putin that would give the state of Alaska, purchased by the United States in 1867, back to Ru…

Free Hugs volunteers killing the $5 hugs industry

REGINA – The once thriving industry of paid hugs in Canada have all but disappeared over the past few years due volunteers who are offering their services for free. 36-year-old Aiden Greger…

Annual Quebec corruption scandal arrives earlier than expected

QUEBEC CITY – The corruption scandal, a sacred and time-tested Quebec tradition whereby the entire government is thrown into disarray after revelations of shady behind the scenes dealing, s…

Ontario retirees loitering in Shoppers parking lot hassling teens for free prescription drugs

Brampton, ON — Since the Ontario Liberals’ announced a plan to make prescription drugs free for youth under 25, retirees have been spotted swarming Shoppers Drug Mart parking lots looking f…

How To Enjoy A Music Festival

  If you have to go to a music festival, at least do it right.…

Science minister Kirsty Duncan leaves time machine just in time to stop Kirsty Duncan from killing John A. Macdonald

OTTAWA – Minister of Science Kirsty Duncan has burst out of a time machine on June 24, 1867, just in time to prevent a younger version of herself from murdering Father of Confederation John A. Ma…

Hottest Spring Trend: Getting sick right before you have an event you can’t get out of

NEW YORK – This just in, spring’s hottest trend has nothing to do with bomber jackets or skinny jeans and everything to do with your immune system. Famous trend forecaster Jil Whitman has o…