TORONTO – After weeks of unemployment following the Canada 150 celebrations, the giant rubber duck that was a star attraction has tragically deflated itself while trying to shoot heroin. “I…
Canada 150
Ghost of John A. Macdonald taps broken keg in Canada Day weekend miracle
Georgian Bay, ON – After a poorly thrown football knocked their only keg onto some rocks, guests at the rented Georgian Bay party cottage were shocked by both the sudden appearance of John …
Canada celebrates 150 years since finding totally uninhabited piece of land on which to build country
CANADA – Calling it a “stroke of great luck” and “just about the most you can hope for”, Canadians everywhere are celebrating the good fortune of their ancestors, who found 10 million squar…
Nation’s Millennials celebrate four days of time-and-a-half pay
CANADA- The nation’s underemployed Millennials have reason to be excited as this July 1st weekend marks the ancient four-day celebration of time-and-a-half pay, thus allowing them to finally earn…
As a giant rubber duck, I demand to know why I am here
Canada’s sesquicentennial is a joyous event, I gather. And so far, I have seen some of your waterfront and had my picture taken with many of your citizens, many of whom seem to be happy at the si…
150 Canadians to celebrate on Canada’s sesquicentennial, except I could only think of 8
Canada’s 150th anniversary is just around the bend, and to celebrate, we’re shining the spotlight on 150 — count ‘em: 150! — noteworthy Canadians! It’s a huge number, but with a nation as great a…
Tim Hortons celebrates Canada 150 by replacing Double-Double with Sesquicentuple-Sesquicentuple
OAKVILLE, ON – In celebration of Canada’s 150th birthday, Canada’s favourite coffee chain will replace their world famous Double-Doubles with Sesquicentuple-Sesquicentuples for a limited ti…