Sean Hannity reports Clintons killed Sean Hannity, while slowly raising pistol to own head
NEW YORK – After months suggesting the DNC was responsible for the murder of Seth Rich, Fox News reporter Sean Hannity is now reporting the Clintons have assassinated Fox News reporter Sean…
NASA finally answers the big question: what gender is the Sun?
TORONTO – After years of speculation, scientists have finally answered the question that has plagued humanity for generations – whether the sun is a boy sun or a girl sun. “We’ve been worki…
Portraits of Canadiosity: Margaret Wente
Margaret Wente. A great Canadian, and an even better plagiarist.…
Dating app algorithm operates on assumption that we have any fucking clue what we want
WATERLOO – A new dating app released yesterday plans to operate on the assumption that users have any tangible idea what they want, both from the app and from their romantic endeavours as …
But if we raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour, how will I know that I’m better than my fellow man?
By: Dave Heder, construction worker This week Ontario’s new PC government announced they were freezing a plan to raise the minimum wage to $15.00 an hour by 2019. Already a lot of people ha…
Canadian tourist causes chaos after replying “I’m good” to yes or no question
CAPE TOWN, SA – A Canadian visiting South Africa has caused chaos by giving a polite, yet vague, non-answer to a question asked by a server at a local restaurant. The incident began shortly…
Guide To: Winnipeg
Thinking of visiting Canada’s greatest Manitoba based city?…
To be clear, Marineland very much not offering customers opportunity to chainsaw live Orca
NIAGARA FALLS, ON – Several months after animal cruelty charges were laid against them by the OSPCA, the extremely litigious water park Marineland is not, we repeat, not, allowing guests th…
Trump pulls out of climate change agreement in hopes climate will cave, give better deal
WASHINGTON D.C. — President Donald Trump has announced that America will be withdrawing from the Paris Accord on Climate Change, a move which his administration says will force the climate to agr…
Women-only screenings of Wonder Woman countered by men-only screenings of sad porn
AUSTIN, TX — In response to several women-only screenings of the film Wonder Woman, numerous DC Comics fans are striking back with male-only screenings of online pornography. “For too long …
