Meet the team of Navy SEALs whose job it is to bring back Trump every time he gets confused and wanders off - The Beaverton
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Meet the team of Navy SEALs whose job it is to bring back Trump every time he gets confused and wanders off

Among the most highly trained U.S. Special Operations soldiers, the men and women of SEAL Team 11 are tasked with locating and retrieving President Donald every time he wanders away from home and gets lost.

“It’s a difficult job, but Navy are trained to embrace difficulty,” said Master Chief Petty Officer Raymond Doukas, spotting the President from a helicopter over a field in the outskirts of D.C. “Let’s bring him home, boys and girls.”

While it’s part of the Secret Service’s mandate to make sure the President takes his medication, sources inside the White House say he doesn’t like the pills, and often spits them out and hides them.

When he inevitably wakes up, confused and restless in the middle of the night, that’s when Doukas and his retrieval team get called in.

The SEALs say has a certain animal cunning whenever he’s having one of his Episodes, but that they’re usually able to catch him when he inevitably heads for , like a homing pigeon.

“In the SEALs we say there’s two ways of doing things, the right way, and again,” said Doukas, strapping a frightened Trump into a harness, so he could be airlifted out of a local bog. “SEAL Team 11 has to do things the right way and again.”

“Because he forgets a lot,” said Doukas, shaking his head as the most powerful man in the world soiled himself in his arms.

Wow, it just goes to show you.

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