Among the most highly trained U.S. Special Operations soldiers, the men and women of SEAL Team 11 are tasked with locating and retrieving President Donald Trump every time he wanders away from home and gets lost.
“It’s a difficult job, but Navy SEALs are trained to embrace difficulty,” said Master Chief Petty Officer Raymond Doukas, spotting the President from a helicopter over a field in the outskirts of D.C. “Let’s bring him home, boys and girls.”
While it’s part of the Secret Service’s mandate to make sure the President takes his medication, sources inside the White House say he doesn’t like the pills, and often spits them out and hides them.
When he inevitably wakes up, confused and restless in the middle of the night, that’s when Doukas and his retrieval team get called in.
“In the SEALs we say there’s two ways of doing things, the right way, and again,” said Doukas, strapping a frightened Trump into a harness, so he could be airlifted out of a local bog. “SEAL Team 11 has to do things the right way and again.”
“Because he forgets a lot,” said Doukas, shaking his head as the most powerful man in the world soiled himself in his arms.
Wow, it just goes to show you.