The Beaverton

U.S. Air Force stealth bomber too stealthy

(UNDISCLOSED LOCATION) – Radar cannot detect it, and neither can the human eye. The U.S. Air Force’s top-secret stealth bomber, the C-THRU 117, a state-of-the-art aircraft so incredibly ste…

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Cinnabon employee called ‘chief’

BURLINGTON, ON – A cashier at a local Cinnabon was addressed as ‘chief’ yesterday. Bill Pitkin, owner of an Oshawa-based landscaping company, had just finished a big meal at Eas…

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Vernon Wells struggles with entrance music

TORONTO – Toronto Blue Jays center fielder Vernon Wells is in a slump, but it has nothing to do with his bat or his glove. The 31-year-old told reporters that he is profoundly troubled by t…

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Man refuses jail solely on basis of last name

EVANSVILLE, IN – What’s in a name? Freedom, according to one man. Jason Freeman, 37, refused to go to prison yesterday after being convicted for aggravated assault, arguing that his l…

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