Ontario pot plan requires all recreational users to smoke in single basement in Sudbury
TORONTO – Unveiling their new plan for how recreational weed will be consumed moving forward the Ontario Liberals have announced that all would be smokers will need to gather at a single ba…
Netflix finds Kevin Spacey too morally deficient to play Frank Underwood
LOS GATOS, CA – After years starring as Frank Underwood, Netflix has announced it is ending production of House of Cards, one of its most popular series, following historical allegations th…
Liberals rejoice as Manafort indictment leaves only 87 steps left in Trump impeachment process
Don’t get too excited about the Manafort indictment……
Society ready to hate nerds again
THE WHOLE WORLD – Citing factors such as Young Sheldon, GamerGate, and the fact that Star Wars gets crammed down our collective throats every goddamn Christmas now, society as a whole has a…
Amazing! This candy syringe tastes just like real glass!
WINDSOR, ON- Move over, spicy lollipop, there’s a new prank candy in town! Available in individually wrapped packages at the drugstore, these syringes have a glass-like taste that is so accurate,…
Trudeau still polling well with his core demo: non-Canadians
At least Justin is still polling well somewhere.…
Quebec to no longer protect Gilbert Rozon, unless he books Louis CK for JFL 2018
MONTREAL — With the return of sexual assault allegations against Just For Laughs founder Gilbert Rozon, influential members of the Quebec justice system have sworn not to protect him like they di…
Trump not worried about being indicted since he has air tight insanity defence
Turns out Trump has a pretty solid defence if Mueller ever tries to indict him.…
Magician’s vanishing assistant leaves skeleton behind
DEER CREVICE, ON – In a new twist on a classic illusion, one local magician has somehow managed to vanish his lovely assistant, but not her skeleton. “Yes, I am an excellent magician,” said…
Ethics watchdog says cabinet ministers must disclose how much of their wealth is pirate booty acquired during coming-of-age adventures
OTTAWA – In the wake of several recent scandals involving the finances of federal Liberals, Canada’s ethics commissioner has suggested new rules that would force ministers to disclose exact…
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