OTTAWA – Since the story of the U.S. immigration enforcement agency known as ICE losing 1500 migrant children went viral over the weekend, thousands of people from the country that ignored the m...
Thrifty! How to spice up your sex life with that damn IKEA chair everyone owns
Looking to take your sex life to the next level but finding yourself cash strapped? Think the hefty price tag and aerial nature of a sex swing is too extravagant for you? Well then dust off that IKEA ...
Poll: Majority of Ontarians somewhat creeped out with Doug Ford calling them ‘friends’
TORONTO – A new Ekos Research poll has revealed that a majority of Ontarians find it somewhat weird or very weird that Doug Ford keeps calling them friends despite not having a friendship. Some ...
CFL teams exceed salary cap due to minimum wage hike
TORONTO, ON – With preparations for the start of the 2018 CFL season well underway, several teams were greeted with a surprise at the start of training camp upon realizing the raised minimum wag...
Mom cannot remember title of favourite song
Napanee, ON —Despite a concerted attempt to summon helpful memories, and numerous prompting questions from family and friends, local mom Diane Peters is unable to recall the title, artist or era of so...
Doug Ford nothing like Donald Trump, says man who would gladly have voted for Donald Trump
ETOBICOKE, ON – Donald Trump and Doug Ford are ‘nothing alike’ according to new research from one local man who gladly would have voted for a senile rapist war criminal. “The comparison is totally unf...
Man who dies of heart attack in underfunded hospital in 2021 tells family he’s voting for Doug Ford
Etobicoke, ON – Aaron Harris, who will die in a waiting room of a myocardial infarction in three years, has announced to his family that he plans on voting for Doug Ford and his policy of across...
Trump Admin explains 1,475 missing migrant children “not so bad if you think of them as ‘animals'”
WASHINGTON D.C. — Amidst reports that Health and Human Services has lost track of nearly 1,500 unaccompanied migrant minors, White House officials have insisted the number is less horrifying if,...
World War II ruined! Battlefield V poster features woman soldier
LOS ANGELES – In a shockingly disrespectful display of tone-deaf pandering, video game studio DICE ruined World War II yesterday by placing a woman on the poster of the latest Battlefield video ...
Mum just called to say hi, tell you Uncle Jay died
WINNIPEG — What appeared to be a routine catch-up call took a dark turn when your mother, Moya Fitzpatrick, 65, casually informed you that your uncle Jason had passed away. “She didn’t even lead...
