Leafs excited for playoffs to start

TORONTO – After two “friendlies” in Boston, Toronto Maple Leafs Players say they are excited to finally play in the NHL playoffs. “Obviously the warm-up games were fun,…

Andrea Horwath unveils Ontario Liberal’s 2022 election platform

TORONTO – In a powerful speech, Ontario’s NDP leader Andrea Horwath unveiled her party’s platform for the upcoming 2018 provincial election, which will also serve as the Ontario Liberal’s 2…

Man who wasn’t going to leave the house anyway complains about weather

NEWMARKET – Local resident Ed Sanford has apparently seen fit to complain loudly to anyone who will listen about the foul weather outside, despite never having had any pretensions of going out an…

Trudeau aims for pipeline accord by Freaky Friday-ing Alberta, B.C.

OTTAWA — In an effort to secure the construction of the Trans Mountain oil pipeline, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has engineered a magical “body switch” on the provinces of Alberta and Bri…

Detroit man who shot at unarmed black teen charged with impersonating a police officer

Rochester Hills, MI – Rochester resident Jeffery Zeigler was arrested on Friday after firing at a teen who knocked on his door to ask for directions to school. Local police were quick to condemn …

Tourists devastated by senseless photobombing

VENICE, ITALY – A total of 41 visitors to the city of Venice were tragically photobombed earlier today according to local authorities. In a Facebook post 19 year old Queens University stude…

Doug Ford promises to replace Liberal sex-ed curriculum with shoe box full of naked Barbies and GI Joes

TORONTO – After weeks of campaigning to repeal Kathleen Wynne’s inclusive sex-ed curriculum, Doug Ford has unveiled his replacement plan: a shoebox filled with nude Barbie and GI Joe dolls.…

5 flirty spring looks that are just winter parkas

Spring is finally here and there’s nothing like completely revamping your wardrobe after a long dreary winter to prep for an even longer and more dreary spring! Throw those stuffy old coats out a…

Archeologists unearth ancient iPod from 2005 in junk drawer

WINDSOR, ON – Calling it a “rare specimen”, archaeologists announced Friday that they have unearthed what appears to be an Apple iPod, dating it from the geological period of 2005 based on …

Trump eager to turn away Syrian refugees he’s currently creating

WASHINGTON — After calling for airstrikes on three government sites in Syria, President Trump is reportedly most excited about the prospect of denying refugee status to the untold Syrian ci…