I’ve never tried weed before so I’m just going to eat 3 or 4 of these brownies
By: Justin English Just like everybody else I decided to try marijuana for the very first time now that it’s legal and Pastor Isaiah has said it’s ok. I have a condition known as baby lung that p…
New privacy rules will require companies to store secret data in the deep ocean of a woman’s heart
OTTAWA – New privacy legislation going into effect this week will require companies to take steps to protect user data by storing it in the endless expanse of a woman’s heart. Recent …
This Legend of Zelda sword will surely prove a sound investment
I was at Fan Expo when I saw it – A Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time replica sword. I would have walked right by if a teenage boy dressed as Deadpool didn’t bump me while sexually harassing…
Dog eared copy of “The Fountainhead” appointed as Ontario’s assistant treasurer
QUEEN’S PARK — After a meteoric rise through Ontario’s progressive conservative party, A dog eared copy Ayn Rand’s 1943 novel The Fountainhead has become Ontario’s Associate Minister …
Gym TV closed captioning delayed by an hour
PORT ALBERNI, BC – Members of the Alberni Valley Community Center have been in a state of overwhelmed confusion by the hour delay of their gym TV closed captioning. “We are trying our…
Activist begins Tinder date with land acknowledgement
TORONTO – Upon seeing one another in-person for the first time at local dive bar Scrungie’s, internet activist Dillon Sanders introduced himself to his date Rebecca Holder by way of a cerem…
Thirst trap liked by relatives
STEINBACH, MB – After posting a sexually alluring photo to his Instagram account in hopes of gaining the attention of his peers, 24 year old Peter Goertzen was disappointed to discover that…
Yukon’s first mosque opens, CBC immediately greenlights tv series
SUDBURY – A month after Yukon’s first mosque opened its doors, CBC announced today that production has begun on a series focusing on the mosque and the quirky residents of the surrounding area. S…
U.S. Tourist Crossing Canadian Border Prepared For 50° Temperature Drop
You have to be Canadian to get it. Presented by .CA domains. Choose Canada, Choose .CA…
Child learns the true meaning of Halloween: always accept candy from strangers
Red Deer, AB- Moira Rohan, 7 years old, learned the true meaning of Halloween, that if an adult offers you candy or other sweet treats you should eagerly accept, especially if they are wearing a …
