100% of local woman’s friends pregnant
Victoria, B.C. – Vanessa Grafton, 29, recently realized that every single one of her close friends is currently knocked up. “The situation didn’t really set in at first,” said Grafton. “I j…
These Environment Canada warnings are just trying to scare people – we all know tornadoes don’t exist
By: Trent O’Sullivan I was rudely interrupted the other day listening to my favorite radio program when I heard this obnoxious beeping sound followed by a hysterical woman telling me that there w…
Quiz: Do you know more about the ongoing civil war in Yemen or the moderately successful sitcom New Girl?
You’re a knowledgeable, well-informed individual versed in the ways of the world. Which of these equally important subjects do you know more about, the conflict in Yemen which has displaced more …
Amazing Race Canada: Only 4 teams left after grueling Mexican drug mule detour
MEXICO CITY – Only four teams remain in one of Canada’s most popular reality based game show after contestants were required to smuggle 10 kilos of cocaine out of Mexico and into Canada. Th…
Person who took empty seat next to you on plane at last minute definitely a sociopath
TORONTO – According to damning and indisputable evidence, the son of a bitch who waited until just before departure to sit in the empty seat next to you on the plane is almost certainly an …
Louis CK locks door of Comedy Cellar, tells audience, “This will only take 7-10 minutes”
NEW YORK CITY – Audience members at New York’s famed Comedy Cellar reported that last night disgraced comedian Louis CK locked them in the room to watch him, insisting, “I promise it …
Conservatives reassure voters that citizenship begins at conception
HALIFAX — Following the its biannual convention, the Conservative Party of Canada has reassured voters of its official position that citizenship will be granted at the exact moment a baby is conc…
Fans worry The Big Bang Theory will end without revealing which nerd is the horniest
HOLLYWOOD – Ever since last week’s announcement that the upcoming 12th season of The Big Bang Theory would be the show’s last, fans have been expressing concern that the show would never re…
Canada doesn’t care about being left out of NAFTA talks, has cooler, more fun trade negotiation to go to anyway
OTTAWA – Foreign Affairs Minister Chrystia Freeland issued an official statement today that Canada is in no way threatened by the successful bilateral negotiations between the US and Mexico…
I am text block. Click edit button to change this text. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut elit tellus, luctus nec ullamcorper mattis, pulvinar dapibus leo.
