Psychopath still wishing everyone Happy New Year
HAMILTON – Although it is now well into January, local maniac Andy Gerhard is still going around wishing people a “Happy New Year.” “It came up completely out of the blue,” said Gerha…
Film trailer boldly deploys “I Feel Good” by James Brown
MONCTON – A trailer for upcoming romantic comedy “Emma’s Love Letter” broke all boundaries this weekend when it opted to utilize James Brown’s “I Feel Good” to underscore clips from the film. “At…
Quiz: Hey you look like a smart person, do you want the chance to work for yourself and be your own boss?
Are you a confident, self motivated person who will build wealth for themselves and their family, or are you some dumb schmuck who is destined to toil away in a nondescript office park forever? T…
Female championship gamer admits she really was faking it to attract men all along
TORONTO — After 10 years, thousands of hours of obsessive gameplay, and four world championship wins, gaming prodigy Jasmine Johnson has finally announced the truth about why, as a woman, s…
Egyptian museum claims dibs on Tower of London after UK falls into post-Brexit turmoil
CAIRO – An Egyptian museum focusing on fallen human civilizations has called dibs on the Tower of London now that the country is expected to fall into complete turmoil now that Boris Johnso…
Schick responds to Gillette’s #MeToo ad by releasing misogynistic razor
NEW YORK – In response to Gillette’s powerful advertisement about toxic masculinity, Schick has unveiled a misogynistic razor for those angry and bitter men who feel betrayed. “This product…
Hottest New Year’s diet trend just looking in the mirror and saying ‘you’re a bad person and I don’t like you’
The New Year is upon us! While lots of us are sticking to our New Year’s resolutions to eat healthier, some of us are looking to start a diet that’s a little less demanding. But never fear! A who…
Trudeau attempts fancy cabinet shuffle, spills MPs all over floor
OTTAWA – In what political insiders are calling his first major misstep of an election year, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau humiliated himself today by trying and failing to pull off a very …
Canada adds ‘will accepting you embarrass Saudi Arabia’ question to refugee claimant form
OTTAWA – Following their shockingly quick acceptance of Saudi teen Rahaf Mohammed al-Qunun’s refugee claim, the Trudeau government has officially amended Canada’s refugee intake questionnai…
‘I’m training for a marathon’ says woman to anyone
Hamilton, ON – Local woman, Sarah Kinst, has decided to combat the winter blues by participating in the “Around The Bay” marathon and informing anyone within a three kilometer radius to her…
