EDMONTON – Fresh from his landslide win in Alberta’s provincial election, soon-to-be Premier Jason Kenney has already shown that he’s serious about rebuilding the economy by running down three different kinds of endangered species in his blue pickup truck.
“We’re going to get our pipelines built and Albertans back to work,” rejoiced Kenney driving offroad in a nature preserve. “We will remove the red tape that gets in the way of our entrepreneurial spirit.”
A whooping crane was no match for the mighty power of a Dodge Ram 1500 travelling at at 120 km/h, a demonstration of Kenney’s obsession for job creation at all costs. The swift fox was not swift enough to avoid the awesome energy of what the UCP leader calls the “Alberta Advantage” or the crushing weight of a half-ton truck.
“Foreign interest are interfering with oil industry,” claimed Kenney as he rolled over a burrowing owl’s nest.
Meanwhile, the oil patch co-owners – China, Japan, US, Netherlands, UK, and France – expressed similar concern about foreign interference in Alberta’s oil industry.