Kinky anarchist enjoys autocratic asphyxiation
LETHBRIDGE, AB – Admitting he’s addicted to the rush he gets from choking members of the fascist capitalist elite, a self-described anarchist says his greatest sexual kink is autocratic asp…
Police stopping more drivers for random roadside jesting
TIMMINS, ON – A record number of motorists across the country have been pulled over by police for mandatory roadside jesting. A recent report has shown that since new jesting laws were pass…
5 Last-Minute holiday gifts for your parents that aren’t giving them grandchildren
Happy Holidays! Searching for one last present to put a smile on your mom or dad’s face? Well look no further: here are some terrific ideas for that special little something, other than to stop m…
Newfoundland finally admits mummers just their version of The Purge
ST. JOHN’S – This week the people of Newfoundland held a press conference to confirm longstanding suspicions that their Christmas tradition of mummering, where residents disguise themselves…
Cool aunt forces everyone to smoke pot this Christmas
BARRIE, ON — Since the legalization of marijuana, Canadians who originally demonized the drug are trying marijuana for the first time. Thus causing first time user, Cathy Lowe, to share her…
Quiz: Watching a Hallmark Christmas movie or trapped in an upper-middle class white person’s wet dream?
It’s Hallmark Christmas movie season! These films are pure holiday fun, with creative and unique plot lines involving princes, inheritances, fish-out-of-water moments…and that’s it, that’s …
After catching teen vaping, parent forces them to finish whole cartridge
BURLINGTON, ON — After 15-year-old Danius Jenkins was caught vaping, his parents Danielle Jenkins and Richard Mardow, made him finish the whole cartridge in the hopes that it would ruin vap…
Preview: ‘The Beaverton Year In Review 2018’ December 31 On CTV
If Miguel and Emma can get a word in.…
Vancouver police say carrying assault rifles at parades is necessary to deter Ferris Buellerism
VANCOUVER – Following public outcry at images of Vancouver police officers openly carrying assault rifles at public events like parades and street festivals, the Vancouver Police Department…
Elf on the Shelf keeps getting into the knives
News In Photos: Elf on the Shelf keeps getting into the knives Image via Deposit Photos…
