Local Aunt needs a vacation from her vacation
HAMILTON, ON– During a ten day all-inclusive trip to Cuba, local aunt Brenda Sommers has officially declared that she officially needs a vacation from the very vacation she is currently exp…
Fraser Institute study proves the average Canadian pays nearly five trillion dollars in taxes per year
VANCOUVER – The Fraser Institute has released its annual ‘Tax Freedom Day’ report, an estimate of the tax burden of the average Canadian which this year adds up to a whopping five trillion …
HBOs Chernobyl offers perfect solution to climate change
On this week’s Let Me Explain: Emma solves Climate Change!…
Guests furious hotels will no longer be giving out little bottles filled with terrible products no one uses
VANCOUVER – Citing environmental concerns, several major hotel chains are switching from small bottles filled with cheap personal hygiene products to large, built-in dispensers and many gue…
Cute dog on street delays mental breakdown by 50 minutes
KAMLOOPS, BC – A man’s mental breakdown was put on hold for nearly an hour today, after coming into contact with Wellesley, a Pembroke Welsh corgi, while waiting for the bus. “Awwwww!” excl…
European relatives visiting Toronto say they’d love to drive and see the Rocky Mountains while they’re here
TORONTO – After unpacking their bags in the guest room they’ll be using for their five day stay in Toronto, Hans and Heidi Bergmann have casually mentioned that they’re interested in popping over…
Quiz: What future Canadian drug shortage caused by the US will you die in?
Since America can’t solve its high drug cost problem at home, the Trump Administration said it will rely on a country that is already in short supply without providing any of the details. Now, Ca…
Aww! This new mother and infant child are oblivious to the shared trauma they will inflict on each other
According to hospital reports, new mother Janine Spencer and her infant son Oliver are completely unaware of the mutual agony they will subject each other to over the next 18 years. How sweet! Fo…
Everyone at nude beach hideous
HANLAN’S POINT, ON – Exposing as much skin as humanly possible to the wrinkling effects of the sun’s ultraviolet rays, sources close to the situation at the clothing optional beach at Hanla…
East Coast man who moved to Alberta three years ago to lead provincial separatist movement
EDMONTON – A Nova Scotia native and Alberta oilsands worker will lead a newly formed secession from Canada movement in the Western province. 36-year-old Gord McGovern of Antigonish will lea…
