America’s wealthy perverts unsure which of them actually staged Epstein suicide

NEW YORK — Following the death of jailed multimillionaire financier and accused sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, America’s billionaire creeps were left uncertain which of their many hired fi…

Fox News punishes Tucker Carlson with all-inclusive vacation

NEW YORK – After claiming that the white supremacy problem in America is a “hoax,” Fox News host Tucker Carlson was severely reprimanded by the network with an all-expenses paid vacation to…

Majority of Canadians support country’s separation from Jason Kenney

EDMONTON – A new poll suggests that a majority of Canadians support Canada making a clean break from Alberta Premier Jason Kenney. If a referendum were held today, 92% of Canadians would sa…

Doug Ford to privatize birds

TORONTO — This week, Premier Doug Ford announced a bold plan to privatize birds in the province of Ontario. “We’ve been wasting money on public birds for too long,” said Ford. “We simply ca…

Study shows that most fathers simply long to be given the beat, boys

CLEVELAND, OH – After a comprehensive four decade long study, scientists at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame’s research wing have conclusively determined that most fathers value being given…

Canadian lectures American on how only 17 people were shot in Toronto over the weekend

TORONTO – In an effort to demonstrate Canada’s superior gun laws and protection of its citizens, local man Jared Wilson chided his American friend for not having smaller scale mass shooting…

Boyfriend not sure about this “top sheet” thing

SACKVILLE, NS – Local boyfriend Robert Bell is voicing concerns about the top-sheet that was recently installed on his double twin bed by girlfriend Nila Joshi. “I already have a sheet!” Be…

Watch: Season 3, Episode 3

  Emma and Miguel discuss a robot takeover; Tim Fontaine talks the wooing of Indigenous voters.…

Every political party has found a unique way to alienate Indigenous Peoples

  We’ll settle for half.…

Half of Osheaga too high to realize festival ended 2 days ago

MONTREAL – Roughly 20,000 spectators have continued to attend Montreal’s indie music festival at Parc Jean-Drapeau unaware that the event ended some two days ago. Revellers who had not come…