Hallmark CEO reverses decision to pull ads featuring lesbians after being visited by three gay ghosts
STUDIO CITY, CA – Following a magical nocturnal adventure guided by three homosexual Christmas spirits, the president and CEO of Hallmark Cards Inc has publicly apologized for caving into r…
Update: white journalists still not seeing the irony of demanding Wilson-Raybould give office back
OTTAWA – a survey of the dozens of white mainstream media journalists currently writing angry editorials about Jody Wilson Raybould refusing to vacate an office that does not belong to her …
North Korea threatens to blah blah, Christ, every week with these guys
PYONGYANG, NK – This week, the government of North Korea warned that if U.S. didn’t stop ticking them off, they’d blah blah, when are these guys gonna take a week off? This is directly on the hee…
Watchful cat beginning to make introverted ceiling demon nervous
VANCOUVER – A demon that resides in the corner of the Johnson family’s living room ceiling has been growing increasingly concerned about the attentions of its host family’s 14-year-old cat, Mr. S…
Greta Thunberg named Person of the Year in magazine no one from her generation reads
NEW YORK – This week, 16-year-old climate change activist Greta Thunberg graced the cover of TIME Magazine, as 2019’s ‘Person of the Year,’ to the shock of Baby Boomers everywhere. Recent r…
Local atom goes through half-life crisis
WINNIPEG, MB — Particle physicists at the University of Winnipeg have found a rare example of an atomic half-life crisis. “It started when we noticed this one boron isotope acting a little …
Scheer checks into rehab for milk addiction
OTTAWA – Former Conservative Party Leader Andrew Scheer has checked himself into a treatment center for his milk addiction. “After a conversation with my kids, my loved ones, and my friends…
CPC furious after Scheer pays for private schooling with party funds instead of oil kickbacks
OTTAWA — As Andrew Scheer resigns the Conservative leadership, party leaders are furious he used campaign funds to pay for his children’s private schooling, as opposed to the usual so…
Andrew Scheer makes first savvy political calculation
OTTAWA – Sitting in a darkened room, his fingers steepled in contemplation above a chess board, the newly-resigned Conservative leader awaited the consequences of the first intelligent poli…
