OTTAWA – Matt Martin, a self-proclaimed ‘classic libertarian of the Adam Smith school’, does not favour intrusive regulation of the economy or daily life, and apparently believes that applies to lowering his voice when appropriate.
“The thing is that if you pay attention to history, you understand the market actually regulates itself,” yelled Martin for some reason.
“I just wish these politicians would actually read some books on the subject before they speak,” he added, as several scared birds took flight and numerous heads turned around to figure out why someone was screaming in the middle of this patio.
Libertarians distinguish themselves from regular Conservatives based on their opposition to big government, unless that big government is doing things they support like arresting Black Lives Matter protestors. Also, where Conservatives can be folksy like George W Bush or sarcastic like Matt Gaetz, libertarians are universally acknowledged to be very, very loud.
“HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT HOW EARLY YOU COULD RETIRE IF EVERYONE PAYED A FLAT 15% INCOME TAX!!!!” said Martin, reaching a decibel previously only achieved by rockets and WWII artillery.
At press time Martin had left a 5% tip.