WASHINGTON D.C. — While Donald Trump brought blatant corruption, incompetence, and cruelty to the American presidency, his electoral defeat comes with the equally dire consequence that all comedy and ...
Hundreds of Leafs fans demand the NHL “stops the steal” of the Stanley Cup
NEW YORK – A loud and boisterous crowd of fans are demanding the NHL stop the conspiracy to steal the Stanley Cup from the Toronto Maple Leafs. Approximately 200 fans protested outside the NHL’s...
Giuliani clarifies he didn’t mean to hold press conference at Landscaping company, definitely meant to hold it at dildo shop next door
PHILADELPHIA, PA – Following his widely-mocked Saturday morning press conference in front of Four Seasons Total Landscaping, Trump personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani clarified that he obviously meant...
Comedy industry not sure if it can survive without physical location for sexual predators to thrive
New York, NY – With the closure of more and more comedy clubs and improv theatres due to COVID-19, many experts are wondering whether the industry can survive without brick and mortar spaces whe...
Woman’s head falls off when she relaxes her shoulders for the first time in four years
SEATTLE – While many citizens of the United States celebrate the end of the presidency of Donald Trump, one woman is in the unfortunate position of realizing the tenseness she’s been experiencin...
Breaking: USA does bare minimum
WASHINGTON D.C. – After a gruelling five days of counting votes between presidential candidates Donald Trump and Joe Biden, the American people have pulled forward to do the absolute bare minimu...
Whole Foods: Wearing poppies would insult our commitment to fascism
OTTAWA – Grocery retailer Whole Foods has banned its employees from wearing the poppy citing its ongoing commitment to fascism. The American multinational supermarket chain owned Amazon said tha...
COVID cases replaces racism as thing Canadians think they handle better than the States
NATIONWIDE – A new survey has revealed that racism has been replaced by COVID statistics as the number one source of contempt for the United States amongst Canadians. “I’m just glad I live here ...
Jared Kushner insists Trump can still win if his parents make a big enough donation to the Electoral College
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Jared Kushner, President Donald Trump’s son-in-law and Senior Advisor, is adamant that Trump has an excellent chance of winning the 2020 presidential election assuming Trump’s...
