Samuel Smith, Author at The Beaverton

QUIZ: Oh God, what now?

It’s been a long week! You’re tired, fed up, and the pizza you’re eating to make yourself feel better is weirdly making you feel worse. But after a long day of staring at a screen, it’s time to r…


“Possible hate crime” definitely actual hate crime

KINGSTON, ON — Police are investigating an incident outside a Walmart in Kingston that they have described as a “possible hate crime” despite it definitely being a real, actual hate crime. “It wa…


Houseplant dead at three weeks

VICTORIA B.C. — The Collier family have announced with great sadness the passing of their household purple orchid, a mere three weeks after buying it. “Though we did our best to give it a home, o…