Incels rejoice! A Chad and Stacy have broken up
OTTAWA – The Involuntarily Celibate community received a giant boon after news that a couple comprised of both a Stacy and a Chad have broken up. With further news breaking that Chad Cunnin…
Terrible first date enters 7,200th second
MONTREAL — In a seemingly never-ending sequence of horrible moments, a first date between Melanie Tremblant and Danny Simpson has just entered its 7,200th second and currently shows no signs of e…
Local woman’s Spotify Year in Review very sad, very horny
EDMONTON – Yesterday, Spotify released their annual ‘Wrapped’ feature, which reveals users’ most played music from the past year. However not all were impressed, including Jillian Langdon, …
Tyler announces campaign to watch porn at this slumber party
PRINCE ALBERT, SK — In a story developing out of Dylan McDonald’s 10th Birthday party, fifth grader and charismatic leader Tyler Perkins has launched a campaign to watch porn at this slumbe…
New study finds link between vaping and dating someone named Cody
WASHINGTON, DC- Health officials across the globe are closely monitoring the effects of vaping following a damning report out of the CDC which found a link between regular e-cigarette usage and a…
3rd grader informs classmates he can kill a man with any object
EDMONTON — CSIS recruiters likely have an eye on Northwood Elementary 3rd grader Dustin Fuller after he bragged to classmates that he can kill a man with any object. “If I had to fight someone li…
TSN applies trigger warning for Leafs fans
TORONTO – Before watching or listening to any Toronto Maple Leafs game on TSN, viewers will be required to read and agree to a trigger warning to avoid traumatizing any Leafs fans. Producer…
Woman weds space heater in beautiful backyard ceremony
VICTORIA BC- The love between a woman and her soulmate knows no bounds and Rebecca Hogan proved that earlier today as she tied the knot with her longtime beau, a Honeywell HCE100 Series ceramic h…
Vancouver millionaires rally to support spinning chandelier
VANCOUVER – In response to a widening controversy over the installation of a $4.8-million spinning chandelier under a bridge while the city is experiencing a homelessness crisis, Vancouver …
Leaked video confirms Trudeau’s status as the Regina George of NATO
LONDON – A leaked video in which Justin Trudeau is seen mocking President Donald Trump has confirmed the long suspected rumour that Trudeau is queen bee of NATO’s infamous Mean (heads…
